Hugs

Recently my mother started yet another emotional roller coaster for me.  I'm tired of the ride.  Now I feel like I'm strong enough to put stop to it.  It will take some time and serious strength but I feel that I'm now ready.  

While working out what to do and how to do it   I started to go down my dark road.  Meaning remembering the past and all the pain and anguish it brings.  I call this the dark road because it is easy to get lost.  Once I go down that road it can become very difficult to come back and find peace. The best way for me to find my way back is to pray.  It really does help me.  The other night, while my husband was at work and my children were asleep, was the perfect time for me to think, reflect and have a much needed heartfelt prayer.  

As I prayed I felt the wonderful comfort of my Lord.  It's the same comfort that I felt when I fervently prayed that I would not lose my first pregnancy.  After that prayer I knew that the pregnancy was not meant to be but at the same time I was overcome with peace.  While my heart broke all I could feel was peace.  The same peace I have felt time and time again when I felt I could not longer go on.  This time while I prayed peace filled my heart and I literally felt as if I were being hugged.  I needed that more than ever.  It's amazing how comforting hugs are, especially hugs from the Lord.